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Condolences after Cremations

September 22, 2019

It can be difficult to know what to say to bereaved families after the death and cremation of their loved ones. There are some things that bring comfort and some things we should avoid.

cremation services offered in Wirtz, VA

Providing guidance on how to comfort the bereaved is one of the cremation services offered in Wirtz, VA. Knowing the exact right thing to say to grieving family members is often difficult, no matter how many times we've been to funerals and we've offered comfort and support. Often, we get nervous because we don't want to say the wrong thing, but there are some guidelines that can help. 



When you are giving condolences to family members of loved ones, be sure to remember that what you say is about them, and not about you. For example, if someone has lost a parent, simply tell them how sorry you are without a long story about losing one or both of your parents. If you have not been through the same kind of loss the family is experiencing, then one of the things you should never say is that you know how they feel. The reality is that we don't know how other people feel, even when we have similar losses, because death affects everyone differently. 



So what should you say? 



Always let the family know you are supporting them and available to them. And then follow through with action. Go by the house and mow the lawn. Organize a collective meal train to deliver food during the first couple of weeks after their loved one's death. Offer to drive out-of-town family members to the airport after the funeral, to run errands, to help with cleaning, or to buy groceries or household staples. Then make sure that you follow through with the help you've offered. 



Be available to listen. In whatever way you are most comfortable communicating with them, check in on family members frequently to see how they're doing. They may need to talk through their grieving process and just need someone to empathetically hear them. There are all kinds of emotion with grief, so be prepared to listen without judgment or criticism. 



We humans have a way of dancing around the obvious things, like death, that make us feel awkward. Family members who've lost a loved one need to have the death acknowledged so that they know their grieving and sadness is normal and expected. 



Condolences can be given to a grieving family in the form of good memories about their loved ones. These might be memories you had with their loved one or memories that you heard about from other people. Knowing what an incredible impact a deceased loved one has made on and in other people's lives is very comforting. Family members also get a bigger perspective on and understanding of their loved one, which will create more appreciation of their loved one in their own memories. 



Don't disappear after the funeral. That is perhaps the hardest part for grieving family members. It seems as though everyone shows up for a brief time, and then suddenly they're all gone. It can be a very lonely experience and it can make the grieving process much harder. While family members have to move into a new life journey they knew would come eventually, but perhaps didn't expect so soon or didn't expect what it would actually be like, it's nice to have some consistent companionship along the way. 



For additional information about grief resources and cremation services in Wirtz, VA, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lynch Conner-Bowman Funeral Home can assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 140 Floyd Ave., Rocky Mount, VA, 24151, or you can call us today at (540) 483-5533.


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